wait, what are we wearing for spring?

Hello everyone. Let us pause for a moment and reconvene. What exactly is everyone wearing this Spring? Are we doing casual or dressy? No, because I don’t want to show up in my bedazzled blouse if you’re going to be wearing your parachute pants! So let’s make sure we’re all on the same page here…


Column skirts are here to build the foundation of every chic fit. While the big sister to maxi skirts, there is a difference: column skirts are explicitly straight (prior to a few tequila shots) and tend to resemble… well… columns. Wow. Who would’ve thunk? Yes, they sometimes make you feel like a sushi roll but they’re worth the inevitable waddle and make your legs appear infinite.


Denim on denim is no longer a Big No-No? Tailored and matching? Impossibly elegant. Assorted and patched? Effortlessly cool. There really is no going wrong here. Unless, of course, you forget a matching hat and purse. At that point, just give up because you will never top Britney and Justin.


Who needs a purse to carry your precious cargo when you have 38 pockets? Okay, perhaps a tad dramatic. But the way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised if a designer soon sent down the runway a pair of pants made exclusively from cargo pockets. In fact, I call it. After assessing my crystal ball, she agrees. Keep an eye out for that. And if my premonition does not come to fruition, there is still plenty of cargo to satisfy purseless peoples. Like seriously, everyone looks like GI Joe. So now you know. And knowing is half the battle. (That’s a GI Joe reference. I know this because I googled it.)

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